


Lost but Found

by TheExecutioner0496



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Deaf Character, Disabled Character, M/M, custom inquisitor, misuse of magic, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:48:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9396272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheExecutioner0496/pseuds/TheExecutioner0496
Summary: The Inquisitor had managed to convince damn near everyone in the entire Inquisition that while he was a Tal Vashoth and a mage he was perfectly fit to lead the Inquisition as they had all hoped he could. That is, however, until Cole reveals a dark secret the man had been hiding from everyone around him, and the internal anguish it causes him. Dorian is less than pleased at this discovery but they grow closer due to it at the same time.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I always wanted Dragon Age to have more customization options for the Warden, Hawke, and the Inquisitor. Why are they always so... healthy? Why not deaf, for example? In this fic my Inquisitor is deaf and was born as such but his parents had taught him to read lips and speak as if there was nothing abnormal about him aside from his magical abilities. He went his whole life fooling everyone around him, even after his parents died, though he never did manage to get rid of his accent that gave away the fact he'd grown up in the Free Marches. Leave it to Cole, however, to find out his secret and blurt it out in those odd rambling sentences he uses. On a side note, Adaar's first name is Xander, pronounced like Zan-der. Weird, I know, but I've used weirder ones before. Dorian occasionally calls him Xan for short.

The Prophet of Andraste, that's what Cassandra had called him due to the damn thing on his hand. At first she'd hated him, blamed him for the explosion that killed the Divine, but as time went on and the truth was slowly unearthed she put more trust, and more responsibilities and burdens, on the horned Tal Vashoth. He had led a Mercenary Company in the Free Marches, but aside from that he had no damn experience leading... this. The Inquisition, as it came to be. After the destruction of Haven, his second most recent near death experience, and the survivors all being moved to a ruined fortress that Solas had led him to he was put in charge of everything and everyone that made the Inquisition. He hated it, but he wouldn't change it for the world all the same. He'd made so many friends, and also a great many enemies over his time fixing the hole in the sky and now fighting against some sort of messed up Darkspawn/God wannabe. He'd also fallen in love with a powerful mage from Tivinter of all places, which confused Iron Bull to no end. Apparently the bad blood between the Qunari and the 'Vints' were really as bad as both of them claimed, but he couldn't understand it. Either way, he could make them get along well enough on missions so long as he was there to make sure their arguments never became physically violent.   
The day had started normal enough. He had decided that they'd stay in Sky Haven today, after a week spent in the Emerald Graves with Varric, Bull, and Dorian with him for back up. Out of all four of them he'd managed to obtain the more severe injuries, making Dorian cluck his tongue only to fret over him every time there'd been a break in the fighting. He'd even gotten nearly run through with a sword at one point. He was in the tavern trying his best to get drunk with Cole hiding nearby in the shadows, Dorian beside him, and Iron Bull on his other side. From what he could tell Dorian was rambling on about how the alcohol in the Tavern was so 'low class' and Bull was saying something about how Dorian wasn't in Tivinter anymore and really needed to get off his high horse. It made Adaar flag down the bartender and order something far stronger, downing the shot in one go before coughing at the sudden burn in his throat. What he didn't notice was Cole creeping out of his hiding spot while his lips moved swiftly with words too fast for him to have picked up on anyways.   
"They argue so often, sometimes speaking too fast for me to fully catch the words that fly past their lips. Constant arguing, bad blood they tell me, I'll never understand it all. Sometimes wondering what their voices sound like, sometimes thanking whatever gods might exist that my world is so silent, the blissful and maddening silence, maybe the alcohol will help tonight, let me sleep more soundly for once." Cole rambled and it got Dorian and Bull to stop arguing long enough to look to the spirit in both confusion and surprise.   
"Who are you listening to, Cole?" Dorian asked before the Qunari could bitch about him doing more of his usual 'weird shit'. Cole blinked pale eyes at Dorian only for his gaze to turn to the Inquisitor where the horned male was nursing an empty shot glass, ignorant to what had been said. Dorian got a confused look, trying to process Cole's broken sentences while Bull seemed to grasp it marginally faster.   
"Silence, not knowing what 'their' voices sound like... he can't be deaf, though, he's never shown any signs of it before." Bull muttered before nudging Adaar in the shoulder while Cole spoke up once more, but he was little more than background noise.   
"Did I miss something important? I hope I didn't, like that time in the war room, Leliana had been so cross with me, having to repeat a whole scout report so I could read her lips properly this time." Cole murmured distantly and Dorian realized that his lover may honestly be deaf from what Cole was saying, but if Cole was picking up on it then Adaar was in pain, suffering somehow.   
"Hey, Boss, I think Cole's finally gotten something wrong for once." Bull stated and it got the Inquisitor to raise a curious brow before he glanced to the spirit, gesturing for the larger Qunari to hold his train of thought as he did so.   
"Is something the matter, Cole?" The Inquisitor questioned and his voice was slurred as the alcohol was finally getting to him, numbing his mind just enough to make him more at ease, and a lot more willing to try and understand Cole's current issue and hopefully solve it.   
"It's not healthy to keep something like this hidden so long. Your parents helped you once, but after they were gone you couldn't trust anyone else with something so dangerous. The others in your group would see it as a weakness, use it against you, but here we're your friends. We won't hurt you if you tell us, you know." Cole said instead of answering the question their leader had given him. Xander gave a long, slow blink that meant he was trying to think before it clicked and he genuinely paled, which was a neat trick for a Qunari. Honestly, he was surprised it had taken Cole this long to pick up on it, but he had also hoped that Cole wouldn't mention it in front of other people. He should've known better. He picked up his staff from where it had been leaning on the bar beside him and stood, using it as if it were a walking stick and not a focus for his magic.   
"Xan, is he right?" Dorian asked as he stood up and turned his lover to face him and Xander's expression was both pained and guilty, an expression that gave Dorian all the answer he needed.   
"I don't want to talk about this, I expect both you and Iron Bull to pretend you never learned this information to begin with." Xander finally said, his voice firm and cold, the same voice he used when talking to enemies and politicians. It got Dorian to take a step back and allowed the Inquisitor to leave the tavern while Cole tilted his head like a confused child.   
"He clings to the pain as if it is keeping him together. He's wrong, clinging it will kill him as surely as a dagger, a festering wound that will be infected and worsen the longer it goes untreated." Cole noted and when Dorian turned to look at the spirit he was simply gone as if he'd never been there, making Dorian cuss before ordering the strongest alcohol the tavern had in stock. Bull wisely didn't try talking to the man and instead wandered off to talk to Krem instead.   
~~**~~**~~**~~  
The second time it was brought up was when Xander had been in the library within Skyhold, and in hind sight he should have expected it since the library was Dorian's usual haunt. He'd been avoiding the other mage for three days now, which was a new record as far as anyone who knew either of them could tell. Dorian creeped up behind the larger male, trying to ensure he didn't bump into anything or do something to give away his position now that he mostly knew the things that gave away someone's presence around the Inquisitor. Vibrations, shifts in the air currents, movements in the corner of his eyes, things like that. Xander was reading a book about the history of Navarra's mortalitasi magic and how it is used in the present time of all things. Dorian brushed that aside however and draped himself over the back of Xander's chair and stole the book with one hand while his other covered the man's eyes.   
"Dorian, I already know it's you, and I'd very much like to go back to reading." Xander sighed, choosing his words very carefully in and effort to get the man to uncover his eyes. Normally it would've worked, would've ruffled Dorian's feathers enough to come around in front of him to pout and whine. Now, though? Now Dorian smiled and set the book on a nearby table before uncovering the man's eyes but staying where he was. He didn't bother trying to speak, he knew it would be useless so instead he tugged at one of Xander's horns. They were dark and flowed back against Xander's skulls like that of the dragons they'd sometimes encounter in their travels. They even had metal plating on the ends of them, as if he expected one of their enemies to try and take a sword to them. Hell, judging by the marks in his right horn it looked like someone had tried once upon a time. Xander growled in frustration before tilting his head back as much as his horns would allow and finally got a decent enough angle of the man's face and the amused look he had.   
"You know, if you'd simply told me about this particular issue of yours, I wouldn't be using it against you right now. But since Cole mentioned how that was the exact reason you kept it hidden I can't really help but be tempted to do it at least once." Dorian hummed, ensuring to annunciate his words so his lover could see exactly what he was saying. It got Xander to bare his teeth and move to pry the man off of him enough to stand. He didn't have his staff with him this time, but given how he'd been forced into melee combat with enemies before it was proven enough times that he didn't need it to be dangerous. In spite of that Dorian straightened up and faced him without being intimidated, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning slightly.   
"Didn't I already make it clear that I wanted you and Bull to act as if you'd never found out about that? I wasn't joking, Dorian. If the rest of the Inquisition learned this it'd be a disaster and you know it." Xander huffed and Dorian rolled his eyes.   
"You're acting as if I always followed orders like a good little soldier, and we both know I never have and you love me because of it." Dorian pointed out and it made Xander smile for a moment before the larger male remembered he was supposed to be mad and schooled his expression again. "Do you actually want to know what my voice sounds like, Xan?" Dorian suddenly questioned and it caught Xander off guard.   
"Well... yes, actually. I know you're Tivinter, and from what I can tell by the rest of our companions you have an accent. Hell, even I know I have an accent, its a Free Marcher one because that's the area I had grown up in. I don't know how that worked out, but my parents never could get me to loose it after they taught me to speak like the other kids." The Inquisitor admitted reluctantly and he narrowed his eyes in suspicion at Dorian's sudden grin. When Dorian grinned the Inquisitor was usually the one who ended up in trouble, in one way or another. Yet every time he always seemed to go along with the other mage too, so maybe that was his own fault.   
"Tell you what, Xan, I'll have Solas teach me a healing spell that might help you hear me for a short time. I'll be vague, and he's not exactly the type to ask a whole lot of questions in the first place. If it works, you'll have the answer to your agonizing question, yes?" Dorian offered and Xander frowned slightly before his entire body language shifted, signaling that Dorian had already won before an argument could even start.   
"Five sovereigns says that even if he does have a spell you won't be able to pull it off." Xander chuckled before offering Dorian his hand. Dorian got that look he'd always get when presented a challenge before taking Xander's hand and tugging the taller male into a sudden kiss. When they parted his smile was so brilliant that Xander practically melted every time he saw it.   
"You've got yourself a deal, Inquisitor." Dorian purred and Xander gave a soft, almost shy smile that only Dorian ever got to see. If only the rest of the Inquisition knew how much of a softie their oh so powerful and intimidating leader was Xander would realize that being deaf was the least concerning secret of his.   
~~**~~**~~**~~  
Xander was in his personal quarters as the sun began to sink below the mountains that Sky Haven was perched upon, forcing him to use his magic to light the candles on his desk so he could continue to read the scouting reports that Leliana had gotten delivered to his quarters that morning. Apparently there had been Red Templar sightings in the Emerald Graves, again, and the Tivinter cult was moving in the Hissing Wastes. He sighed and set the papers down to rub at his eyes tiredly. He hadn't been getting a whole lot of sleep ever since the explosion at the Conclave, and leading the entire Inquisition certainly doesn't help. He suddenly looked up when he felt a shift in the air around him, alerting him to someone, or something, nearby. Before he could stand he saw Dorian at the head of the stairs leading to his quarters with his hands up and palms facing towards him to show he was unarmed and innocent. It got Xander to roll his eyes with an unamused huff before standing and gesturing for Dorian to approach.   
"Here I thought you'd never show up, Dorian, having realized you're not very good with healing magic and slinked off so that you wouldn't loose our bet." Xander teased and Dorian got an offended look before lightly smacking Xander on the shoulder.   
"As if! I never loose a bet, Amatus, and I certainly don't plan to loose this one either. Now hold still, the spell Solas gave me is complicated." Dorian grumped and Xander got an almost hesitant look before sighing and leaning his hips back against his desk and offering a wary smile.   
"Anything for you, babe, but just remember that I was born deaf. I've never heard anything before, my world has always been silent as a grave." He warned seriously and Dorian lost that teasing expression and nodded before reaching up to run his hands through the dark black hair that grew between Xander's horns. Not all Qunari could grow hair but some could, like Xander. Bull wasn't kidding when he claimed Par Vollen had no natural red heads, though, and black, gray, and white hues were the norm. Xander could tell Dorian was saying something but he couldn't recognize the words, making him pout ever so slightly before he felt magic against his skin. It made him shudder and Dorian tugged his hair sharply when Xander automatically tried defending against the man's magic. It was to be expected given the enemy mages they've fought so far but this would take all night and the next day if Xander fought against him. It got the horned male to grunt softly in pain before he ceased his previous actions, allowing Dorian's spell to soak in past his skin and into his mind. His thoughts became hazed over and he realized that if Dorian was clouding his head this had the risk of causing pain. Even as he realized that he didn't try resisting again, trusting that Dorian wouldn't do anything that could /hurt/ him, per se. He didn't know how much time past before... something filtered through that magic induced haze. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was annoying and alien to him. The sensation seemed to grow in force and with a mental jolt he realized that there were other sensations with it. Panic forced back Dorian's magic and Xander's eyes snapped open even if he hadn't realized he'd closed them.   
"Xander, calm down, look at me!" Dorian insisted when he felt Xander break free of his magic due to panic and fear. He'd already expected this to happen, Xander had never heard the wind through a window, had never heard his own breathing or the sound of fabric brushing against itself. However, at the sound of his voice Xander reacted as if Dorian had hit him instead before the Tivinter grabbed the larger male by the horns and forced him to make eye contact. His lips formed words even if no sound escaped them, telling his lover that he was hearing sounds around him. Xander's eyes were wide but he understood the words, forcing himself to take slow, deep breaths and to think past the apparent noise.   
"I'm... I'm alright now." Xander murmured and he grimaced at the sound of his own voice now. Was his voice really that deep? Jeez, no wonder some people got scared just by him talking alone. "Do I seriously sound like that? Good grief, I sound terrible." He complained.   
"I think you sound rather lovely personally." Dorian chuckled and his laugh was warm but also somehow bright as well. It made Xander look at him as if the man had done something incredible just by talking and laughing alone. Dorian saw the look on Xander's face and actually blushed. "What? The way you're looking at me is rather unnerving, Amatus. Say something, won't you?" He muttered under his breath and Xander smiled.   
"I sound terrible but you... I can't even describe the sound of your voice, Kadan. Warm but bright, alien but comforting, all sorts of contradictory things and fascinating because of it." Xander admitted and Dorian chuckled again before he was suddenly being pulled into a kiss, causing the man to move his hands from Xander's horns and down to his shoulders so the mage could steady his balance. Only once they parted did he give a more real laugh, this one brighter than the last and all the more valuable due to that.   
"I'm glad you think so, Xander, though I'm sorry that you got so scared at first. I should've tried to prepare you better, maybe closed the windows too." Dorian admitted and Xander just shook his head.   
"You've never been the type to prepare for things ahead of time, Dorian, you just tend to rush into things on impulse. It's one of the many things I love about you, and one of the few I also find irritating." Xander pointed out before smirking. "I don't suppose you can keep talking to me, could you? The spell will wear off eventually, and I want to hear as much of your voice as I can." Dorian's entire expression and body language softened at his lover's request before he gave a haughty huff and playfully pushed at Xander's shoulder.   
"Oh, very well, but only because I can hardly say no when you give me those big puppy dog eyes. I swear, Amatus, one of these days Varric or Leliana is going to find out how easily you can get me to agree to things and then they'll have you asking me to do ridiculous things for them." Dorian pouted and it made Xander roll his eyes.   
"I doubt it, they'd just have me ask you to go to noble parties and negotiate with aristocrats on my behalf. The last time I had to talk with an Orlesian Noble I threatened to put the man's head on a pike and display it in my throne room. I still haven't heard from the man since and Leliana is less than pleased with me." Xander admitted and Dorian laughed again.   
"Oh, you foolish man, you can't threaten an Orlesian with blatent violence, Amatus~! You must be far more subtle with your threats." Dorian advised before moving to lead Xander over to the bed. "Come on, lets get comfortable before I explain The Game to you, hmm? It'll take some time, after all."   
"You can take all the time you want, Kadan." Xander hummed. They both knew that was a lie, but for now it was a comforting one and they had this shared moment with one another, where Xander could finally hear his lover's voice for the first time and only Dorian would see the childlike enthusiasm and curiosity Xander showed at every little sound he heard.


End file.
